


The Last Hope of the Dead

by SunshineOMeara



Series: Hope for the Hopeless [1]
Category: Original Work
Genre: Children of Characters, College, Diary/Journal, Elaina is on a Quest for Answers and only gets Questions pls help her, F/M, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Poor Life Choices, Questions, Slice of Life, Stupidity, University, because i sure won't, look she knows things but she knows she doesnt know enough, the truth is that she doesnt know the full truth called Patricia, this is a fun fact you will not gain a true answer to until the next book
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-12 19:27:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29389803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunshineOMeara/pseuds/SunshineOMeara
Summary: Elaina Dimitrova was tired. Every time she thought about her friends death she had more questions and the only one she knew who had answers was the sole reason she ran from her home town the second she could. Also, why she was still alive, but Elaina preferred to not think of that. It would mean she owed her mother something instead of her mother owing her an explanation as to why her life was in danger.
Series: Hope for the Hopeless [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1467817
Kudos: 1





	1. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Because I'm Afraid™ of making another tag canon on accident:
> 
> Relationships: Elaina Dimitrova/Beniamin Dimitrov, Máire Strauss/Gilbert Strauss, Adrianna Wilk/George Pendleton
> 
> Characters: Elaina Dimitrova, Beniamin Dimitrov, Lydia Dimitrova, Máire Strauss, Gilbert Strauss, Adrianna Wilk, George Pendleton, Alexandrie de la Sauveterre

Authors tell tales of hope and loss, ups and downs, and all around’s.

Beginnings are always so much sweeter than the gone too soon, broken endings

caused by fates design in tales told only after the fact but missing half its truth.

Doctor’s provide a path to healing through hope while writer’s tell disconsolate warnings rarely heard

even by those who would dare to listen and try to learn.

Forsaken are the ones who wholly shut out the whole world as

grief takes hold of all that is and emotions run completely ragged.

hope is shared by the old with the wish to see it

in the eyes of the young who are

just waiting for the peace to reign as the 

Keeper tries to lead them to a brighter future than those days gone by.

lament’s that will be and have been given and warnings sung and while

many will hear not all will understand as peace is hoped for but 

not promised, never ever a given, and always a forbidden dream.

oh, how all those that were left behind wish for a time of

peace that will not be given to them even as the

Queen decrees and leads as many evils astray and protects all while shooing some to

run as far and as fast as they can but be wary all for the

Scientist is looking for answers in the materials left behind from those who ran from the

twisted hearts who know no love and dislike their deeds being brought to light.

until innocence is lost and freedom wins, all that is hoped for is

very well forfeit.

Witness as lies keep hope afloat and bring about the beginning of the end,

xenogenous from the time, but genous to the people,

yielded in the hands of babes but spoken into existence by

zéphyrine to bring hope to all the land.


	2. May 14th, 2129

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Questions upon questions ending with why her and why now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 1 of: How on Marzipan did we get here

9 days.

It has been nine fucking days. 

Since the world lost one of its brightest stars and most gentle of souls. 

Nine long days since the murder of Princess Adrianna Martyna Wilk of England. 

A mere nine days since I lost one of my best friends and confidants to a random pile of bullshit.

I want to scream, or grieve, or cry, or really emote in some way. 

And yet.

And  yet here I sit just simmering in a rage I can’t do anything with. I cannot fight an organization that would kill me if they knew of my existence. I cannot fight the people who are celebrating her death as I would likely just get arrested and I really don’t want to deal with the police.

So, here I sit, writing out my feelings because I cannot do anything else.

What else is there to do? It’s been nine days since Adrianna’s death and not a single one has made it make sense. No matter how many people I lose it always hurts and I’m always left with more questions than answers.

She's...just gone.

Murdered at 24. Leaving behind a 15-month-old and devoted husband. 

Killed for no reason other than being born to a woman who dared to live. All because my friend’s mom didn’t want to be someone’s experiment for all her life and then dared to get pregnant. 

All Adrianna ever wanted was to live in peace and be happy and kind to others. She’s dead because she fell in love with a prince and thought she was safe from that awful fucking shithell of shame of a legitimate organization. All she wanted to do was live. Why wasn’t that enough for  **them** ?

...

Why does that never seem to be enough for  **them** ?

...

Nine restless days spent wondering why this is all happening and why  us .

Nine days of this fucking bullshit.

And in nine more days I’ll still have the same questions. Why did  **they** kill her? Why in her son’s room? Why now? Just why?

...

9 days of endless whys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> unintentional shout out to Endless [REDACTED]


	3. May 16th, 2129

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Was it our fault?

We knew she was going to die. We were given a warning and…maybe we should have trusted more. Maybe trusting the people who are hired to keep them safe would have worked. The problem is we are and were so scared of who to trust and they all report to Cosima…

I have no idea how we could have kept her alive and yet.

Knowing she was going to die doesn’t make it easier to deal with her death in comparison.

~~Did.~~

Were  our attempts at keeping her safe what ultimately killed her? Are we to blame? Or is it all on **them**? Will we ever know for sure?

Did I lead one of my loved ones to death? Even if it was on accident?

Why does it feel like this was always going to be? Why does it feel as though her death was never preventable and always written into the pages of fate?

Why do I feel as though her death was inevitable and always going to happen?

Where is my guilt? 

Aren’t I supposed to be feeling that right now? 


	4. May 17th, 2129

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elaina's official declaration to search for answers

I was born almost 24 years ago on 28 June 2105 to Richard and Mary Brooks.

I was cursed with mostly Mary’s looks from her cold, icy blue eyes to her oddly, almost creepily, warm honey brown hair. I got lucky and was born with my dad’s warm smile instead of her judgemental grimace.

As much as I would love to claim most of my personality is from my grandma, for authenticity, I get my more rancorous tendencies and inability to let go from my mother.

Which is a  lot of my personality.

I was Virginia Marion Brooks for the first 18 years of my life before I was forced to let her die in order to keep myself safe. As far as the government’s concerned, Virginia Brooks died with the rest of her immediate family members on 23 December 2123.

From her ashes, Elaina Alexis Howlett was born. The biggest change between the two was my hair. My rebellious bleach blonde bob, that Mary abhorred and I loved, was dyed a chocolate brow. I had to get extensions for a while before it finally grew out. 

I cannot stand the length. I can’t get rid of it though. It could potentially be endangering my family’s safety.

Some days I wish I died that December day as well and as stupid as it sounds most of my reasoning is because of my hair.

Máire thinks I have trauma related to my hair. 

She might be right. 

Mary tried for  **years** to make me into a robotic doll so I chopped all my hair off and fucked it up by bleaching the hell out of it. It was  awful when I was finished. Patchy and choppy. I love it.

I honestly thought Mary was going to kill me when she found out.

In the long run of this new project of mine, none of this is important. I’ve just had a lot of time to think these past twelve days. Too much time one might say. I’m just scared that Adrianna isn’t the last of us to die and I needed to do something. My grandpa always said if you are confused write it out and try to find the sense there. 

I need it all written out. I can’t handle any of this. I swear the answer to everything is in our past but I can’t figure out where or what holds the answers.

We messed up somewhere and  **they** found us.

I figured that the best way to start is to just introduce myself before I get into what happened as a precaution. It’s dangerous if this falls into the wrong hands. But it felt wrong to not and.

I need some proof I was here and I tried.

I included the looks because we don’t have pictures of the Brooks and this is the closest I can get them in here. Dim looks more like dad.

Anything Virginia held dear was left with grandma, who remains one of the only people to truly know my birth bloodline. The only thing I was allowed to keep was some communication with my brother and I had to fight for it. Everything else was destroyed in the explosion or I wasn’t allowed to keep.

This entry is my official declaration that I will not stop looking for answers as to why Adrianna died and where we messed up. I will look until the day I die and  **they** ’ll have to kill me to get me to stop. 

I refused to let **them** win and kill any more I hold dear.

This will end one day.

I will make sure of that.

But just in case I don’t make it, this journal will hold our story and maybe someone someday will find the answers that eluded us all. 

Or maybe it will be the reason we all die. I hope that isn’t the case, but something tells me that there are answers and someone will find them. Our lives will not be for naught and there will be a silver lining.

**They** will not win.  **They** are not  allowed to win.

Not this time. Not like this.

I will bring them down one way or another.  **Their** existence is finite.


	5. May 18th, 2129

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How did we get here? Well...

In order to tell this tale properly, I think the best place to start is my beginning. I grew up in small-town Superior, Montana, USA. I hated it. I much preferred Missoula, where my grandparents lived. I actually prefer Oxford over it all even if I miss the mountains and still think it's weird to not see them when I look outside.

Growing up there wasn’t really anything that stood out to me outside of my parents' constant arguing and dad sending us off to his parents' or camps as often as possible. Looking back, I think Mary was trying to get him to leave the area due to paranoia and dad refused. He tried to give us a normal childhood. Sometimes it felt more like he was trying to send us away and didn’t want us either.

Regardless of what his reasoning was for sending us away, I will always appreciate him standing up for me against her. The only times he ever really fought her was for us. 

It all came to head my junior year. The summer before it started I had bleached and chopped off my hair. My grandma was the one to take me out to get it fixed and look more like a normal haircut because Mary couldn't stand how it looked. Grandma just had them make it look nice. Mary was lived and said that it made me look like a butch lesbian. 

Note to all the kids out there, an appropriate response is NOT “I’m bi bitch get it right,” and then storming out of the room.

I’m pretty sure the only reason I was allowed back in that house was because of school. I joined many extracurriculars that year. I was always waiting for her to do something. 

Junior year was also the year that we were expected to figure out where we wanted to go for college. I had always planned on going to the University of Montana because my grandpa worked there. The idea of pestering grandpa Nate between classes just sounded like the best part of having to get a degree in something I didn’t want to choose.

At least this was my idea until I started finding brochures to Oxford all over the place.

At first, I thought maybe Mary had changed her tactics on trying to control me. But it just seemed too…how should I put this…not in my face or blatant manipulation. So, I asked Dmitri what was going on. Apparently, when he was in his junior year, dad left them around too. The why we didn’t know at the time. We just knew he was suggesting it, which was an out of character thing for my dad.

Dim applied to Oxford, but his heart had always been set on Harvard. Mary liking Harvard more than Oxford helped too. He was always more careful about upsetting her. I, on the other hand, applied to Oxford and Oxford only when I found out she **hated** it more than Cambridge. As much as I wanted to bother my grandpa, this was too good of an opportunity for me. Plus it was far from everything I wanted to run away from.

The only downside to my plan is that my acceptance letter arrived at my grandparents' house while she was there. 

We had to call the school to get another one sent. I’m pretty sure if I had sent the letter to my dad’s house. I think the cops would have had to have been called and.

It would have been bad. Let’s just leave it at that.

As it was, it really wasn’t fun. I think the only reason it wasn’t worse was dad was friends with the Sheriff who lived nearby.

I did manage to get a lovely list of all the things Mary hated. Cambridge; LGBT+; The East Coast; My hair; Canada; My clothes; Europe; People who don’t conform to ‘normal’ standards; Oxford; My piercings; Canadians; My life choices; Etc. If I fit the bill, she hated it. It’s not like I always tailored myself into a person she hated. I didn’t choose to be bi. I just happened to  be all the things she hated.

The only saving grace was that I had waited to apply and was close to graduating high school at the time. So, all her yelling, passive-aggressive border on aggression, was as annoying as it was painful to hear. The amount of time she was cussing dad, me, and my grandparents out, and then praising Dmitri for ‘wisely’ staying in the US and trying to guilt me into staying was impressive.

All it did was make me count down the days and dad to ship me off to my grandparents as soon as he could. 

I envied Dmitri so much during this time because he would stay away. It didn’t matter how much I begged or pleaded, the butt wouldn’t let me visit him. He claimed she would have followed me to yell at us both which is just  so wrong . She probably would’ve spontaneously combusted if she looked at the Dakota’s let alone go as far as the Midwest. If she can’t do that, do you really think she would go to the East Coast, Dmitri?  Really ?

But I survived! Like I had done for the past 18 years. And every day I wondered why dad stayed. Why he didn’t divorce her or send her away. She was a horrible person and he didn’t deserve what she put him through. Now, I think he stayed with her out of a sense of duty or guilt. I suspect she manipulated him into being with her. I have no proof, it’s just. Their relationship was always off to me, especially now that I’m happily married. 

On my bad days, I wonder if he would have left her if he read the letter she slipped into my bag before I left.

At the time, I had wondered why she was at the airport to see me off when she was still mad at me. Apparently, it was to kill any love I had for her as well as any hope for a connection with the woman who birthed me, who according to all media, was supposed to love me.

Not that she ever had.

Well, if her goal was to kill that hope and love, let’s just say she won the fucking gold.


	6. September 25th, 2123

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mary's first letter

Dear Virginia,

If you are reading this, that means you are in England. It means I failed to reason with your father and convince him to see the truth, that you need family more than pointless travel. I apologize for your father’s behavior. I simply cannot imagine how you are feeling at the moment. I just cannot believe your father is still forcing you to go to college so far away instead of staying home. Your grandfather’s sudden death hit you incredibly hard and yet he still insisted you leave your family in this time of crisis.

It would have been far healthier for you to stay at home than leaving a day after the funeral to go to another country halfway across the world. I know you know this, but regretfully, you have always done what he wants. I do hope this decision of his does not poorly affect your future. He should not have pushed you so hard to leave the country. He tried to do the same thing to your brother, who wisely turned him down. As you know, Dmitri turned out perfectly fine without gallivanting in strange lands. In fact, he is close to the top of his classes and has been dating a bright young girl for some time now.

Unfortunately, if you are reading this, that means I could not get you to see reason and convince you that this decision to go will be detrimental to your future. Nor could I get your father to back off. Personally, I do not think Nathan would have wanted you to go. I think he would have rather you take his death as a sign to stay. This decision of your fathers must have just broken Nathan’s heart from the very beginning. I am sure the idea of you actually carrying on and doing this foolhardy thing must have been too much for him. Regardless, he surely would have realized that being with family and grieving properly was the healthier thing to do. Richard does not always think things through. He spends too much time trying to force you and your brother to do things you would rather not.

I am afraid there is not much more I can do, but I do hope I can at least alleviate some of the homesickness and grief you will no doubt feel. I have included a journal with this letter for you to use whenever you feel homesick or overcome with grief. I am certain it will happen often. Just be careful where you leave it as you never know who might go through it. Do not forget that when you want to come home, we can get you a ticket right away.

Love,

Your mother,

_ Mary Anna Brooks _

Mary Anna Brooks.


End file.
